a loosening grip and some settling mud
katherine and helen left this morning. it was great to be together again. we even called jose and put him on speaker phone and laughed for all the time my calling card would allow. and we played with fireflies at meadowbrook, had dance parties around my house, cooked yummy food, cuddled on the couch, and practiced gratitude.
this has been a strange year for me, and seeing katherine and helen again makes me more aware of that. when i got back from my visit to oregon in november, i remember saying that i felt like i had left ecuador again. i think i'm leaving it once more right now. this whole year has kind of been a transition for me. i have spent a lot of energy missing ecuador and i don't think i ever really settled back here in a many ways. some things about this year have been great. i was a better student this year than i have ever been before and i've learned a lot about myself. but i've been holding on so tightly to ecuador all year. and i don't know why i have and why it seems like katherine and helen haven't, but i don't think that matters. i just have.
and it's kind of working out to be great timing. i'm feeling ready to loosen my grip some more on ecuador (although i'm still going to work my ass off on this fulbright proposal with the hopes of getting back there!). and it's the beginning of a new chapter for me. one more week of work and i'll be off on my summer travels. and i'm feeling open and ready to really embrace whatever waits for me in el paso.
"do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear?
can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?"
tao te ching
there are very few moments when i can really understand and live these wise words, but those moments when i do, they ring clear and true inside me. my mud has settled for this summer. it settled pretty suddenly. all of the sudden i am leaving for new york in a week, and then a week later to el salvador, and next month at this time i'll be on my way to holden! but it all feels really right. i must admit, it was incredibly bittersweet to be a stop on this roadtrip of katherine and helen's and not be a part of the whole thing, but i'm feeling better about it. and i think that el salvador is going to be incredible. i'm so glad andrea and i are going to have some more quality travel time together. and then holden. at first i was kind of surprised at my own decision to go back there and not take off to finland or ecuador. but the mud has most definitely settled and i have no doubts. these moments of clarity are few and far between, but i trust them when they come.
this has been a strange year for me, and seeing katherine and helen again makes me more aware of that. when i got back from my visit to oregon in november, i remember saying that i felt like i had left ecuador again. i think i'm leaving it once more right now. this whole year has kind of been a transition for me. i have spent a lot of energy missing ecuador and i don't think i ever really settled back here in a many ways. some things about this year have been great. i was a better student this year than i have ever been before and i've learned a lot about myself. but i've been holding on so tightly to ecuador all year. and i don't know why i have and why it seems like katherine and helen haven't, but i don't think that matters. i just have.
and it's kind of working out to be great timing. i'm feeling ready to loosen my grip some more on ecuador (although i'm still going to work my ass off on this fulbright proposal with the hopes of getting back there!). and it's the beginning of a new chapter for me. one more week of work and i'll be off on my summer travels. and i'm feeling open and ready to really embrace whatever waits for me in el paso.
"do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear?
can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?"
tao te ching
there are very few moments when i can really understand and live these wise words, but those moments when i do, they ring clear and true inside me. my mud has settled for this summer. it settled pretty suddenly. all of the sudden i am leaving for new york in a week, and then a week later to el salvador, and next month at this time i'll be on my way to holden! but it all feels really right. i must admit, it was incredibly bittersweet to be a stop on this roadtrip of katherine and helen's and not be a part of the whole thing, but i'm feeling better about it. and i think that el salvador is going to be incredible. i'm so glad andrea and i are going to have some more quality travel time together. and then holden. at first i was kind of surprised at my own decision to go back there and not take off to finland or ecuador. but the mud has most definitely settled and i have no doubts. these moments of clarity are few and far between, but i trust them when they come.
posted by josie at 4:47 PM
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graduation... the end and the beginning!
and some more pictures! this is from sarah's memorial day visit. it was short but sweet.
and of course, i have to make a reference to ecuador sooner or later! even if this is from months ago... and in wisconsin-- not ecuador!
something a little more recent
